At times, all it takes is for one to want something hard enough that he'll look for it. Most of the time, when you look for it, you'll find it somehow; you'll get there somehow. You'll find that gem in the pile of pebbles, that gold nugget streaming down the river. It's all a question of how hard you're willing to look, how long you're willing to wait.

I've realized the importance of staying positive and looking on the bright side no matter what happens. God teaches us not to lie, but occasionally when you lie to yourself, it allows you to feel that much better, and hold on for that much longer. When you've got nothing left to fight for, what motivates you? Especially when you know that you've hit a plateau, or that there's no silver lining in the clouds, or there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and you're just struggling for the sake of it - not giving up because you won't allow yourself to. It's times like these when a little white lie, a little playing up of your situation, gives you that much-needed boost to finish the day and come through still shining.

We all want to be perfect, and especially more so in the eyes of those whom we desire. In the process of achieving this much longed for state, we tend to forget other things. As well as other people. It's not a good thing to be callous, but we do it anyway, because there's just some people who matter to us, and others who don't. We open ourselves up only to those who we see value in, and install a perfect firewall to those that we see nothing in. But we can't be blamed, because that's base human nature; which ironically contrasts with the definition of a perfect person.

Good Lord, it's been quite some time since my last entry here. I guess in actuality it's not been that long, seeing as I was in Taiwan for Ex. Starlight till the 26th, and it's only been about 9 days since we touched down. But I have been meaning to blog, in fact nearly every day, but every time I start thinking about it I get too lazy to and end up just putting it off; procrastination is definitely not a nice thing to have haha.

So let me talk about Taiwan. Well, it was definitely a million times better than Brunei. Despite my preference for no training at all, I'd have to say the environment there is just so much more suitable for military training than in Singapore. Generally because you don't feel as uncomfortable or as tired because you don't sweat - and you're constantly feeling refreshed (and even chilled) by the blustery winds pummeling you full force, especially at night. Put that in contrast to how I felt during the recent outfield we had for urban ops - in Taiwan, you sweat only if you are forced to do something really active such as dashing from one point to the other, and half an hour later your sweat's dried up and you're feeling the same as how you were before. But in Singapore you sweat. Period. Even when you're not moving you sweat. Yes I've lived with it for the past nineteen years but man, it's times like that when I miss Taiwan.

And yes that is about all I can talk about for the training aspect of Taiwan - the weather, because, you know, classified. And all that. So let me move on to happier issues: R&R! Yes it was as awesome as it sounds, and I'm glad I got to experience 3 days of 'holidaying' in Taiwan with transport and accommodation fees fully paid for. Apparently in Taiwan, night markets are the bomb. Okay this might be due to my woefully limited shopping centre visiting experience (I only managed to shop around Taipei 101) but the night markets/ shopping streets are so much more vibrant and seemingly the go-to destination. And they really do offer quite a bunch of bargains. It's all one can do to limit the spending, but I only walked away with something from FCUK and a pair of OTs, ironically both from boutique stores. Oh, and two Spongebob boxers from a random clothing store that are only 5 bucks each. Comfy.

Of late, I've been feeling rather purposeless. I know I should be motivated by what's to come in a month and a half, but I just see it all as being very pointless, partially because the R&R, off day and also the 2 days ATTEN C that my MO gave me for cough/flu (wow) have been easing me back into the post-JC, pre-army life and I must admit it is a very wonderful (albeit just as purposeless, and more slack) life because of the sheer fact that you can CONTROL your life. You determine what fills up your schedule, and if you've been lacking in an area say, studying something or your fitness regime, or you want to bring yourself up to date on something, all you have to do is devote more time towards that area. Whereas now in these 2 years, all the time you've got is 2 weekends. 1 and a half for me now. And with extras and confinements and irregular training schedules, you end up being total subjugated to the whims and fancies of whoever plans aforementioned schedule. But I guess it should all become better after this month has passed. GET OUT OF HERE, FEBRUARY. Despite CNY, Feb's really not a very good month, in fact it is quite irritating indeed.

I've also been wondering about how what exactly people value. I just feel that one too many times, effort and concern have been sacrificed in favour of the more colourful, the more vibrant, the more exciting, the more relevant. To me, it's pretty simple - we measure those who mean the most to us by what really matters, the times shared together that are not broadcasted on a networking site or video-sharing one, the moments captured not in pictures but in our hearts, the words said not on shoutouts but on heartfelt personal notes. But I don't constitute the world. And it's a pity how the world is sometimes blinded by glitz and the glitterati.