every once in a while, everybody looks back on the past and finds small little pockets of regret, wistfulness and how-i-wish-i'd-done-it-differentlies, or maybe how-i-wish-i'd-go-back-thens. Mr. Clooney said in his recent movie that photographs are for people who have pathetically short memories such that images of every thing that they do has to be recorded on little sheets of paper. Of course, he recognizes the folly of his statement later on, as he rightfully should, because we don't take photographs because we can't remember - we take them because they provide a more colorful, vibrant picture of special moments that have been and gone, and help us in our recollection of such moments.

I don't blame myself for wishing that life was how it was a few years ago, although life's pretty alright nowadays and really quite exciting sometimes. I realized recently that we can't blame others for neglecting us no matter how close we are, because there's a little something called "getting on with their lives". You'd not like it yourself if you were going on some awesome roadtrip around Europe and suddenly your ancestors in China call you back because you're wanted there. A little bit exaggerated I know but generally the gist of the whole idea.

It's also a good feeling, I think, to miss people. It keeps you grounded, and looking forward to the future. Even if whatever new posting I have turns out to be absolute rubbish, I know that time can only fly by before the summer period of May - July, because I'll be standing on my toes and keeping my fingers crossed every day for rachel, mel, zixin and tiff to come back. Sometimes all you need in life is a direction to head towards, goals to meet, and dates to look forward to. And that's the beauty of the simplicity of it.

Another thing I'd like to wish for is for every person to have inside themselves their very own Jiminy cricket. Or at least, an inner voice that tells us what to do. Somewhat like the little angel/devil that sits on one's shoulders, but without the devil this time. A little bit schizo I know, but it'd be great to have a voice of reason that steers us away from all the bad choices and every foolish thing that we do, no matter how logical we might surmise them to be. Because the fact remains that we're governed quite often by how our hearts beat rather than how our brains pulse. Both powerful instruments, locked in a neverending struggle to come out on top. And no matter which one wins, there tend to be repercussions that one has to face, which might not be that enjoyable indeed.

So let's look towards our own freedoms, people. And in our personal pursuit of happiness, not forget those that hold us dear just because we hold others dear. I promise to myself that I'm going to make a video of whatever trips I have with my friends (e.g. ORD) in American Pie fashion, and spin Michelle Branch's Everywhere to accompany it, because it just awesomely encompasses the spirit of our youth and the things that we do (despite us turning 20 this year. It's okay i'm STILL not an adult!).

Because you're everywhere to me,
and when I close my eyes it's you I see;